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How to catch Bearded Mozlem’s attention March 14, 2008

Posted by ladywuggles in Uncategorized.

One of the quickest and most effective methods to catch Bearded Mozlem’s eye is for Hijabed Girl to drop something. It is quite simple: Hijabed Girl must simply carry around a bag full or something or the other – preferably flowers or cookies and not books of philosophy – and absentmindedly drop it in Bearded Mozlem’s line of sight. Bearded Mozlem will be all over himself tripping and apologizing in his rush to come to the rescue, feeling woefully sorry that he did not think to offer help to the poor Mozlema in the first place. Incidentally, Bearded Mozlem will also melt if he sees Hijabed Girl staggering about with a heavy box. He will feel guilty that he is laughing with Kufi Man and not noticing Hijabed Girl and her many burdens.

Now how Hijabed Girl responds is key. If she refuses his offer to help completely, he will hate her forever and call her Evil Feminist Witch. Most members of the male gender have a strange desire to feel needed, and Bearded Mozlem is no exception. If Hijabed Girl accepts his offer right away, he will think she is too easy, or that she is just angling for his attention. So first she must refuse profusely. Any good Bearded Mozlem will ask again one more time. At this point, she will smile shyly and say, “Okay, thank you so much, brother,” and then she will of course add, “May Allah (SWT) reward you for your help”. At this point, Bearded Mozlem is literally melting and he will do anything for Hijabed Girl.

Of course, if Bearded Mozlem does not look up, he is not worthy of the attentions of Hijabed Girl. It is imperative that he notices her pain and feels bad about it. Otherwise Bearded Mozlem just isn’t worth the effort.



1. Aaminah - September 17, 2008

No philosophy books? Does the Bearded Mozlem have a problem with smart girls? That might explain my difficulty…

2. Safiya Outlines - September 17, 2008

Salaam Alaikum,

This is a spot on observation of the games involved in the ‘Muslim Matrimonial Dance’. Keep up the good work!

3. Mazhar - September 17, 2008

Very good.
Not quite my type of humour but interesting nonetheless.

4. Fatemeh - September 17, 2008

Bwahahaha! Evil feminist witch!

I guess I’ll drop my philosophy books elsewhere! Ahhhhhhhhahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!

5. Siraaj Muhammad - December 3, 2008

Hijabed Girl must simply carry around a bag full or something or the other – preferably flowers or cookies and not books of philosophy

Yes, definitely not books on philosophy – we don’t want Hijabed Girl having a premature meltdown, nor would we want brain matter oozing all over her nice hijaab.

Cooking recipes, and housecleaning time management by the Fly Lady, that would be better for her.


6. Sacrifice4Allah - December 4, 2008

As Salaamu ‘alaikum,

Is that THE way? lol I’d rather stay single.

wa Salaamu ‘alaikum

7. Bobby - December 28, 2008

JihadWatch.com – why Mo-ham-head ordered muslims to hate and kill people of all other religions.

8. misstimer - March 13, 2011

This was a funny post :D, cracked me up!

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