How to catch Bearded Mozlem’s attention

One of the quickest and most effective methods to catch Bearded Mozlem’s eye is for Hijabed Girl to drop something. It is quite simple: Hijabed Girl must simply carry around a bag full or something or the other – preferably flowers or cookies and not books of philosophy – and absentmindedly drop it in Bearded Mozlem’s line of sight. Bearded Mozlem will be all over himself tripping and apologizing in his rush to come to the rescue, feeling woefully sorry that he did not think to offer help to the poor Mozlema in the first place. Incidentally, Bearded Mozlem will also melt if he sees Hijabed Girl staggering about with a heavy box. He will feel guilty that he is laughing with Kufi Man and not noticing Hijabed Girl and her many burdens.

Now how Hijabed Girl responds is key. If she refuses his offer to help completely, he will hate her forever and call her Evil Feminist Witch. Most members of the male gender have a strange desire to feel needed, and Bearded Mozlem is no exception. If Hijabed Girl accepts his offer right away, he will think she is too easy, or that she is just angling for his attention. So first she must refuse profusely. Any good Bearded Mozlem will ask again one more time. At this point, she will smile shyly and say, “Okay, thank you so much, brother,” and then she will of course add, “May Allah (SWT) reward you for your help”. At this point, Bearded Mozlem is literally melting and he will do anything for Hijabed Girl.

Of course, if Bearded Mozlem does not look up, he is not worthy of the attentions of Hijabed Girl. It is imperative that he notices her pain and feels bad about it. Otherwise Bearded Mozlem just isn’t worth the effort.

Advertisements