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Too Stupid For His Own Good April 13, 2008

Posted by snagabeardedmozlem in Uncategorized.
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At SABM, we are always looking for signs of Bearded Frauds. These creatures usually trawl about online strutting their fake beards and searching for Decent Hijabis to harass – er, marry. Decent Hijabis are strongly advised to refrain from falling for these beardless fellows. Below is an online chat session that reveals Bearded Fraud for what he is. Watch for the signs and don’t make the same mistakes yourself:

BF: Salam
BF: Anyone there?
BF: I don’t like talking into thin air. It’s rude.
DH: Oh, sorry, I don’t believe I know you.
BF: That’s okay.
DH: It actually isn’t.
BF: We can at least talk.
DH: I’m really not interested.
DH: I didn’t even know strangers could contact me this way.
DH: I must have unclicked something along the way.
BF: Let’s just talk.
BF: And then you’ll see if you’re interested in continuing to talk to me.
BF: Are you a Muslim?
DH: Yes.
DH: I’m really sorry, but I’m not interested in continuing this conversation.
BF: Why?
DH: I’m just not.
DH: I wish you the best. Goodbye.

But Bearded Fraud comes back with, well, a few lame comebacks of his own. Be awed as we are with the ludicrous arguments he puts forth to the now-wary Decent Hijabi online:

BF: You said you are a Muslim. Are you a hijabi?
DH: Yes.
BF: So you can’t judge me before you know me. Didn’t Allah say that?
BF: Don’t think you are better than me or any other Muslim girl.
DH: I didn’t say I was.
DH: I don’t want to be rude.
DH: But I’m really not interested in talking to a random stranger.
BF: Do you think you are a good Muslim?
DH: I don’t get what this has to do with being a good Muslim or not.
DH: But if you read my words carefully
DH: You will realize I wasn’t saying I was better than you.
BF: Who do you think you are?
BF: You know, honestly, you women think you practice and apply Islam 100%.
BF: Just because you wear hijab.
DH: The fact that you cannot even understand what I am saying
DH: Shows there isn’t sufficient commonality to converse.
DH: I didn’t say that I practice and apply 100%.
DH: What nonsense.
DH: My wearing of the hijab doesn’t mean I’m a paragon of virtue.
BF: You know what?
BF: If I wasn’t a Muslim, and I saw the way you were treating me
BF: I wouldn’t even think to convert to Islam.
DH: Yeah, well, I tried to be nice to you, but clearly, you do not understand.
DH: So honestly, I don’t care.
DH: Goodbye.
BF: You people don’t present Islam the way the Prophet did!
BF: You give a bad image to Islam!
BF: And you call yourself a Muslim girl? Ha!
BF: Salaaaam!

Good riddance, Bearded Fraud! Too bad you had to learn the hard way: Decent Hijabs are far too clever to fall for your clumsy beardless tricks. Even when it’s online and your words are couched in self-righteous, religiously invested language.

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Comments»

1. The WishMaster - April 16, 2008

Online chat session and Decent Hijabi is that an oxymoron?!

Now don’t get me wrong about chatting and being Islamic and what not….but come on if people honestly think they can nab a good beardi or hijabi by chatting with strangers is far-fetched (just my 2 cents, would I want to marry a girl who’s on MSN or chats all day talking to guys?!…no. At the same coin I then would not be on a chat talking to girls too)

2. dreamingofbeards - April 17, 2008

Oh it’s not as far-fetched as you think, my friend 🙂

In this example, Decent Hijabi is quite polite. If I was in her place, I’d have said something along these lines:

BF: Salam
BF: Anyone there?
BF: I don’t like talking into thin air. It’s rude.
DH: who is this?
BF: I’m Bearded Fraud, can we talk?
DH: no. and you’re a loser for even trying.
BF: Pardon? so we can’t at least talk?
DH: You’re dumb. Goodbye.

3. Aadhil - May 27, 2008

Assalaamualaikum,

In my opinion it’s even harder to catch a bearded Islamican than a bearded Muslim donchaknow =0P

4. snagabeardedmozlem - August 5, 2008

We at SABM are quite intrigued and perhaps even a tad bit confused by your statement, Aadhil. Care to elaborate? The folds in our hijabs make it hard for us to understand, you see.


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