Beard Withdrawal Symptoms

Now, considering the beard-crazy nature of this blog and this group of women, it naturally follows that some ‘interesting’ encounters have occurred between them and Beards. The following is a simple example of the consequences faced when delving so deeply into the matter of Beardhood. Take into consideration that Beards are quite a rarity in this neighbourhood.

Picture two Hijabis sitting at a popular restaurant, conversing normally and chuckling to themselves…

Hijabi1 (henceforth H1): so then I told him he was being a jerk because he refused to grow a beard.

Hijabi2 (henceforth H2): who cares, girl? You’re better off without that skinny nerd anyways.

H1: yeah I guess you may have a point…

H2: believe me…(trails off and gets a glazed look in her eyes)

Bearded man walks in…

H2: (yells) BEARD!! (note the caps, which denotes frenzied excitement)

H1 swerves her head towards the door and gives H2 a look of puzzled horror.

H1: are you okay?

H2: (breathing speedily and flushed) yes I’m fine. I was just momentarily distracted. What were you saying?

H1: “momentarily distracted”? You screamed ‘Beard’ halfway across the room!!

H2: well it was a momentous and substantial event, I had to.

H1: I don’t know you!

Bearded man quickly leaves restaurant looking frightened. Poor boy.

What a sad ending to a misadventure of H2! We at SABM are advocates of beards. However, be wary of the above situation. Yelling out “beard!” to a man may not be in your best interests if you’d like to snag him.

Perhaps a little subtlety is in order.